Generational Queens in Training

By A. Nicole Walker

Every generation is different still there is one thing that remains the same. Our human reactions and needs. Created by Abraham Maslow in 1943 was the concept of the Hierarchy of Needs. It goes from the order of bottom to top to illustrate the categories and definition of our needs as humans mentally and physically.

There are three categories: (See the three side bars separating the categories)

A) Basic Needs which is Safety and Basic Needs

B) Physiological which is Love and Belonging and Self Esteem Needs

C) Self-Fulfillment which is Self-Actualization

Self-Actualization: Fulfilling one’s potential,

this includes creative activities

Self-Esteem Needs: Feeling of Accomplishment and Prestige

Love and Belonging Needs: Friends and intimate relationships

Safety: Safety & Security

Basic Needs:(Physiological)

such as Food, water, rest, and warmth.

When we are young it is not so bad, I suppose, however as time passes and the more aware we become from infant to childhood to teens to adulthood we progress in our awareness of society and our environment. My son is 8 years old while he is aware of how much he has in common with his peers and how he is different as an individual he is not totally swept up in the peer pressure that pre-teens, and teenagers have. I also know another mom whom during a conversation we talked about life she mentioned how her daughter at 11 years old experiencing the peer-pressure, cliques, and bullying in school. While she is a great artist does not really enjoy her school experience. When she told me this it broke my heart. As a grown woman I have been experienced my puberty days. Though I did not experience bullying, pushed away the even the idea to conform and be like everyone else when it did not seem right by instinct and situation (yes, I have always been rebellious). I recall the age of ten when cliques started to show in both gender of friends along with the trouble processing it because it was new. Experiencing the hurt of wondering why your friends are ignoring you. Around 14 or 15 years old I will never forget when as “the new girl” at school a group of girls took interest in me. We sat at lunch after a choir or music class we all had the same period in. I wrote poems and lyrics even then. The girls began to introduce themselves and take an interest in me. But I seen IT. You know the IT. One of the girls was a big girl, curly red hair, and glasses. While I am no bully and the biggest advocate against it, I know for fact those physical factors are like a red target for a bully. While I never saw this girl picked on, I sensed the body language and observed this interaction. When I reciprocated with a genuine question to all the girls as the answered I noticed the girl with the red hair getting ignored by everyone but me. My instinct told me it was purposeful. It upset me instantly. There was no need for me to make a scene in this situation, so I did not, I simply continued trying to get everyone to interact with each other and treated her equally. Because of that observation I did not pursue much more than being acquaintances with the other girls. Nothing truly personal against them just knowing I had seen this movie before and had been the red-haired girl (on just being ignored not necessarily bullied) I knew I could do nothing more than just be kind in this situation. My heart yearned for her as I could feel her emotions. As I tell you about my own experience, I can tie this in now. When this mom told me about how her daughter wonder, beautiful, and intelligent gets depressed. How she doesn’t want to be a “nerd”. How daily her daughter is getting picked on by jealous girls starting the fights and trying to snatch her sketchbook and book bags while the school employees do verbal reminders to who starts the fight, but nothing more (Yes that angers me even more especially if your job is to protect the kids). Naturally when push comes to shove this young lady defends herself and gets her items back. All the thoughts as a giver came to me. “If only I could take her to my Self-defense classes she would learn to fight and be more confident not just have the ideas that her negative peers and environment are putting in her head outside of the home” and “I’d love to teach her some more arts and crafts and what I have learned about business”.

Eventually I let go of what I was not possible now I began to think of what I could do. Yes, this young lady if of another generation after me. While I was never bullied, I kept to myself by choice. I instantly knew I need to write something to show her and tell her over video chat what black people have been through (I know how that sounds bear with me). I mentioned how while we can have generational differences our needs are the same. We all need have Basic Needs, Physiological Needs, and Self-Fulfillment Needs. Just to mess with your head you can have a some of these needs, but if you do not have the others, it is just as frustrating! I will be expanding more on realizing how great you can be. Just for this read however I want and know our young ladies need to be reminded how they are queens in training. To hold their heads up with pride and keep fighting all the negative output that tries to keep overtaking their thoughts telling them who and what they can do in life. As a bi-racial woman myself I know its fact that being a minority twice over that by gender and race my ancestors have came along way. Take Billie Holiday for example. Truly a fearless queen despite her struggles she used her fame to still sing her most famous song “Strange Fruit” to speak about Black Civil Rights when the law did all it could to ridiculous extent to stop her. Yes, she had her own issues and she fought through them that’s what matter. Nina Simone another queen in her own right as well sang “Missippi Goddamn” which if you have never heard of contains the lyrics:

“The name of this tune is Mississippi Goddam

And I mean every word of it

Alabama's gotten me so upset

Tennessee made me lose my rest

And everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam

Alabama's gotten me so upset

Tennessee made me lose my rest

And everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam

Can't you see it

Can't you feel it

It's all in the air

I can't stand the pressure much longer

Somebody say a prayer

Alabama's gotten me so upset

Tennessee made me lose my rest

And everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam

This is a show tune

But the show hasn't been written for it, yet

Hound dogs on my trail

School children sitting in jail

Black cat cross my path

I think every day's gonna be my last

Lord have mercy on this land of mine

We all gonna get it in due time

I don't belong here

I don't belong there

I've even stopped believing in prayer

Don't tell me

I tell you

Me and my people just about due

I've been there so I know

They keep on saying "Go slow!"

But that's just the trouble

"Do it slow"

Washing the windows

"Do it slow"

Picking the cotton

"Do it slow"

You're just plain rotten

"Do it slow"

You're too damn lazy

"Do it slow"

The thinking's crazy

"Do it slow"

Where am I going

What am I doing

I don't know

I don't know

Just try to do your very best

Stand up be counted with all the rest

For everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam

I made you thought I was kiddin'

Picket lines

School boy cots

They try to say it's a communist plot

All I want is equality

For my sister my brother my people and me

Yes you lied to me all these years

You told me to wash and clean my ears

And talk real fine just like a lady

And you'd stop calling me Sister Sadie

Oh but this whole country is full of lies

You're all gonna die and die like flies

I don't trust you any more

You keep on saying "Go slow!"

"Go slow!"

But that's just the trouble

"Do it slow"

Desegregation

"Do it slow"

Mass participation

"Do it slow"

Reunification

"Do it slow"

Do things gradually

"Do it slow"

But bring more tragedy

"Do it slow"

Why don't you see it

Why don't you feel it

I don't know

I don't know

You don't have to live next to me

Just give me my equality

Everybody knows about Mississippi

Everybody knows about Alabama

Everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam

That's it!”

This beautiful, intelligent, and a queen at 11 years old going through the joys of puberty is the descendant of women such as Nina Simone and LadyDay. While no one’s fault she as many generations before me have possibly not been taught about these Female Leaders ahead of their time and (yes, I’ll say it) how racism, sexism along with slavery are a root of many issues still today. (And another topic yes, but I have to just add this because it plays a key role in my message) the fact that even when we have canceled out Jim Crow as a law people found ways to continue the generational racism over time. Same for sexism.

Okay, so that was a lot to take in. The takeaway points from this is Despite the generational needs we all have the same needs and because every situation is different we have many negative and positive interactions with others. Unfortunately, things such as bullying are too common. We need to remember as females (and should you also be a reader of color as myself) we have to navigate in a world where we have to learn on our own for the most part about those queens that came before us. They example and leaders. Do not let this generational racism, sexism, lack of needs, and negative experiences be your excuse. Let it be your strength to always keep striving to be a queen in a world where too much blood has been shed so we could be where we are today. It is not a perfect world and I never expect to be in a perfect world to be honest. But strive to be a queen making a better world for the future queens that will come after you “queens in training”.